Rachel Bridgette Beck

Photo

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 20:39:37 -0400

"I’ve figured out that joy is not in your arms"

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 20:39:01 -0400

“I’ve figured out that joy is not in your arms”

- Ellie Goulding

In honor of National Coming Out Day and Gay Pride this weekend in Atlanta, I want to offer my...

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 10:05:00 -0400

In honor of National Coming Out Day and Gay Pride this weekend in Atlanta, I want to offer my undying love and support for the gay community. So many of you have been some of my closest, supportive, and most loyal friends. You have given me so much love in my daily life and the theatre community that I will never be able to forget and I want to be able to give you that love million-fold.

Recently, California became the first state to ban the use for minors of disputed therapies to “overcome” homosexuality, a step hailed by gay rights groups across the country that say the therapies have caused dangerous emotional harm to gay teenagers. I am so exhausted hearing the subtle homophobia going on around me, especially living in Georgia. And this piece of legislature really is a step in the right direction. I love you all and everyone deserves happiness without fear of being judged.

I’m sure my love life sounds like such a sitcom to others. I make such light of it. But...

Sun, 23 Sep 2012 20:30:19 -0400

I’m sure my love life sounds like such a sitcom to others. I make such light of it.

But it actually is really sad and I’m starting to feel heartbreak when I don’t have people around me I can joke with about it.

“I want my music to sound like throwing yourself out of a tree,...

Sun, 23 Sep 2012 16:04:53 -0400

“I want my music to sound like throwing yourself out of a tree, or off a tall building, or as if you’re being sucked down into the ocean and you can’t breathe… It’s something overwhelming and all-encompassing that fills you up, and you’re either going to explode with it, or you’re just going to disappear.” - Florence Welch

I'm Sorry

Sun, 23 Sep 2012 16:03:50 -0400

I learned that love is better when it’s true

I try to make things picture perfect

I try not to make mistakes

Somehow my cheeks are always burning with one more heartache

One more heartache

So I’m sorry that I asked you to marry me

I’m so sorry but the impulse was strong

I’m not sorry that I loved you

But I’m sorry that I told you

Now I know

I was wrong.

WHAT. I need these.

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 14:44:19 -0400

WHAT. I need these.

Video

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 21:43:30 -0400

Teddy Roosevelt’s diary entry from the day his wife died. He...

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:31:52 -0400

Teddy Roosevelt’s diary entry from the day his wife died. He never spoke of her death again.

Through being considered clever I have suffered much. A person of sense ought to never have his...

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:20:26 -0400

Through being considered clever I have suffered much.

A person of sense ought to never have his children

Brought up to be more clever than the average.

For, apart from cleverness bringing them no profit,

It will make them objects of envy and ill-will.

If you put new ideas before the eyes of fools

They’ll think you foolish and worthless into the bargain;

And if you are though superior to those who have

Some reputation for learning, you will become hated.

-Euripides’ Medea

"It was everything to me to think well of one man, And he, my own husband, has turned out wholly..."

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:15:25 -0400

“It was everything to me to think well of one man, And he, my own husband, has turned out wholly vile.”

- Euripides’ Medea

As the sweetapple reddens on a high branch

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:14:09 -0400

as the sweetapple reddens on a high branch

high on the highest branch and the applepickers forgot—

no, not forgot: were unable to reach

Sappho of Lesbos

stars around the beautiful moon

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:11:51 -0400

stars around the beautiful moon

hide back their luminous form

whenever all full she shines

on the earth

silvery

(Sappho of Lesbos)

A year later this still is true for me; my private journal entry

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 13:02:29 -0400

16, June 2011

This break has been extremely hard on me. I’m really highly emotional person—whether it be crying or laughing its all done to the max and being away from Cherokee High drama just kills me. There was always so many high emotions bouncing off the walls between the people involved and even if it was stressful I loved that stress. I hate not having anything to do and just thinking about my future that has nothing to do with theater or performing whatsoever. I watch the Tony’s and I just am reeking of jealousy over these performers. Not from how good they are, but that get to be involved still and get paid to do this—okay maybe a little jealous of there talent and beauty but mainly the stage thing. Just to look into the stage lights is an out of body experience and you become conscious of each breath you take, every word you say, and every little movement. It’s such a strange feeling that I have missed. I miss studying songs, lines, and dances and having an outlet for my emotions.

I don’t have an outlet anymore so I’m lashing out and getting annoyed with everyone and just listening to my Broadway cast recordings and crying in my bed. I feel such love for theater that is highly emotional for me and even though I think it would be wonderful to pursue a career in fashion, I just feel as if I shouldn’t go into the field because I do not love it AS MUCH as I do theater. I feel like I wouldn’t give it my body and soul if asked like I would with theater. But my best friend, Meagan, gave me a piece of advice that if it so difficult to change what I have already chosen then maybe that is a sign to keep going on the direction I’ve planned for. This comforts me a little. I just don’t really know right now with so much free time, its been giving me some high intensity feelings about finding myself. I’ve really been trying to get in touch with myself and I think once I go away I will finally be able to figure out my life. I just need to run with all my might towards what direction I want to pursue and I just want to get started with the rest of my life.

My heart hurts so bad. Like someone shoved a knife in my stomach and is just twisting it.

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 21:08:27 -0400

My heart hurts so bad.

Like someone shoved a knife in my stomach and is just twisting it.

Gosh, she just leaves it all on the stage—fabulous!

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 09:11:08 -0400

Gosh, she just leaves it all on the stage—fabulous!

hey! do you have a twitter? xx

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 22:28:51 -0400

I do! It’s rachelbbeck (:

Photo

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 22:43:15 -0400

Choices

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:32:05 -0500

If i can’t do

what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don’t want
to do

It’s not the same thing
but it’s the best i can
do

If i can’t have
what i want … then
my job is to want
what i’ve got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want

Since i can’t go
where i need
to go … then i must … go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement
isn’t lateral

When i can’t express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal

I know
but that’s why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry

"I will blaze until I find my time and place. I will be fearless—surrendering modesty and..."

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:26:00 -0500

“I will blaze until I find my time and place. I will be fearless—surrendering modesty and grace. I will not disappear without a trace. I’ll shout and start a riot. Be anything but quiet. Christopher Columbus, I’ll be astonishing, astonishing, ASTONISHING. At last!”

- Little Women the musical